Responsibility
Today I’m really, really glad I learned that I am the one responsible for my life. And that I have no responsibility for anyone else’s life, choices, or lack of choosing.
By accepting that I am responsible for my life I have learned that there is no stop and go, there is only flow. By that I mean that nothing ends until I say so. If I want to pursue something, then I am free to do so. Or I’m free to ignore it until it’s something I want to put attention on. And it’s totally my choice, not anyone else’s.
When I can accept responsibility for myself and my life, I give up forever being a victim. Christine Lavin had a great song about a man who wasn’t a victim, he was a volunteer. When you choose to be a victim, you are actually volunteering to let others run your life…you are choosing to give up consciousness and to accept what someone else has determined you are worth.
Phooey!! The only person who can determine what you “deserve” or what’s best for you is YOU!! Not me, not the government, not your spiritual leader or guru. Everyone outside of you is OUTSIDE OF YOU!!
They can only know what’s best for themselves. They can never get more than a glimpse inside my brain, so they can only know a small bit about who I am and what’s important to me.
So by accepting I am responsible for my own life, I am free to choose what things mean to me. I am free to define my own values, to determine when (if ever) I want to go after something or stop pursuing it. I, alone, am the one who makes the determination. Not the latest TV personality, the magazine article or the shrink down the street.
Many people I talk to think that responsibility means credit or blame. That’s ego talk. Responsibility simply means that I accept I am in control of me, so I am therefore free to move in the direction I want in response to what happens to me. If I don’t like what’s happening to me (or how I’m responding to it), then I can simply move in another direction or respond a different way. Nothing holds me to continue a non-resourceful or non-effective response.
So I am grateful that I have accepted responsibility for my life. I am tempted to take credit for the good stuff and to blame someone else for the bad stuff, but I remember that’s just the ego talking.
In reality, though, I am pretty satisfied with who I am and how I am in the world. Mostly because it feels like it’s the “real” me here. Not a me that acts/responds in a way I believe someone (anyone) else wants me to act/respond. Or at least most of the time. I am, after all, human.